#26 Revivalution PrayerCast - Thankful

Father,

 

I just ended a busy weekend, one where I started off Saturday morning in prayer and once again starting to feel Your presence, and yet I ended with business, forgetfulness and separation.  I come to You this morning and the distance is palpable.  It is evident, I lived for myself and not for You.  Filling myself up with my own desires and not filling my great need for You, with Your presence.  Will I ever make it through this? Will I move forward from this place, this dry and barren land into a land that is refreshing flowing with all that You are.  A land where the ground has been tilled and prepared for the rain that only You can bring? Or will I stay in a place where the land is hard, where the work to prepare for You is too much?  The lands are the same place. It’s not moving from one land to another land. The land or the life I’ve be given is not in multiples, it is one. I have to prepare this place for You. One thing I think I used to know was Your holiness, now I don’t see it so clearly. The magnificence, the majesty, the greatness, the HOLINESS of You. In exchange for the perfectness of You I’ve allowed my life to feast on unholy things knowing that You can’t dwell in a place that is filled with the filth of this world. Father take my life, and put inside of me a desire for You that causes me to do the hard work of preparing a place for You. Starting is hard, but once I put my hand to the plow to break up this fallow ground, that’s when You show up, softly at first, placing your hands on mine, gently leading me through the process. Then strength comes and lack of desire turns into a flame. As the plow of Your spirit bites into the old crusty, nasty, dusty land of my heart, You take something that looks worthless, but it’s there just below the surface where there is fertile soil.  Nothing is wasted, even the dry crusty soil is turned into the soil and becomes useful. Wasted days, weeks and years still have a purpose, You still find them useful, nothing is beyond your restoration. It’s here in a prepared place that You can plant the seeds of who You are, the seeds of Your presence, the seeds of Your promise, and roll them into the fertile soil. My work is to prepare a place, but the rest thankfully is You.  But then You bring the rain, that’s when heaven falls and mixes with the soil of my life, and the seeds that You have provided, that’s when I’m refreshed and I can become fruitful. I’ve lived in confusion at times.  I see how much You do in the process of bringing me to You. It’s pretty much everything, but I’m not without responsibility. I have the responsibility of preparing a place for You. It’s here that I fill the fear creep in. I know all of my failings, all of my beginnings and then my ultimate failure.  Jesus I need You. It’s here that I simply have to stop and say thank You for loving me.  Where I realize that we are never too far gone. You shaped this world that each of us can know You, giving Your life as a ransom for us. Thank You that it doesn’t matter how many failures, how many starts and stops, You continue to pursue, not willing that one should perish. Father, Son and Holy Spirit, help me to love You and not just be loved by You. Love You completely in my pursuit and preparation for You, preparing a heart that you can pour all of Yourself on holding nothing back. 

 

In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.